Before/After: Generic AI vs Life Model AI

Given your INTJ personality and pattern of deep work preference, the structured problem-solving in UX will appeal to you. However, I notice from your history that you've struggled with ambiguous feedback in collaborative environments (anxious attachment). Before transitioning, I'd recommend: 1) Shadow UX designers to see the reality of constant stakeholder feedback 2) Practice receiving critique through design communities first 3) Consider specialized UX research roles that lean more analytical. Your ADHD hyperfocus is an asset for research deep-dives. The transition fits your skills, but prep for the collaboration intensity.

Your anxious attachment is activating hard right now—that spiral of 'they don't care' is the pattern we've seen before. This triggers your childhood narrative of feeling forgotten by busy parents. Before the conversation, ground yourself: This one incident doesn't mean abandonment. Given your partner's avoidant attachment (from what you've shared), they likely didn't connect the date to emotional significance the way you do. Script: 'When plans I'm excited about get missed, I feel unimportant. I know that's not your intent. Can we talk about how we both think about important dates?' Focus on the system, not the incident.

Classic ADHD novelty-seeking + task initiation strength but completion weakness. Standard productivity advice won't work—you don't lack discipline, your dopamine system works differently. Here's what will work for YOUR brain: 1) Accept you're a 'serial starter'—build that into your system by having 3-5 projects in rotation 2) Use hyperfocus sessions (don't fight them, schedule around them) 3) Forget Pomodoro—do 90min sprints when engaged 4) External deadlines only (internal ones don't create enough urgency) 5) Body doubling (virtual coworking) for boring tasks. The goal isn't to fight your wiring, it's to architect around it. Most of your unfinished projects can be paused, not abandoned—that's a feature, not a bug.

Your Sunday anxiety pattern connects to three things in your Life Model: 1) Type-A perfectionism + need for control (impossible to have for the whole week) 2) Anxious attachment activating around your demanding boss (authority figure who mirrors critical parent) 3) Your therapist noted you catastrophize unknowns. Here's the reframe: The anxiety isn't about Monday—it's about sitting with uncertainty. Instead of planning to eliminate anxiety, practice tolerating it. Specific: Sunday 4pm, 10min 'worry window' to write worst-case scenarios. Then Evidence column: how often do they actually happen? You'll see 5% hit rate. The anxiety won't disappear, but you'll stop avoiding it, which paradoxically reduces it. Also: your SSRI works better with consistent sleep—Sunday is when you stay up latest.

SMART goals will backfire for you—here's why: Your Enneagram 4 + ADHD combo means you need emotional resonance and novelty, not rigid metrics. Every January you set ambitious goals, lose steam by March (dopamine drops), then feel like a failure (reinforcing your 'never finish anything' narrative). Different approach: Theme-based years instead of goals. This year's theme might be 'Foundations' (health, systems, relationships). Then monthly experiments—not commitments. January: try morning routine. If it sticks, great. If not, February is different experiment. Track what energizes you, not what you complete. Your pattern shows you thrive on exploration, not execution—stop trying to be someone else. The growth IS the experimentation process.

You're not 'too blunt'—you have high IQ + low EQ awareness + direct communication preference (INTJ) + possible autism spectrum traits (pattern recognition, literal communication). The sandwich method will feel fake and you'll abandon it. Instead: 1) Signal intent upfront: 'I'm about to be direct because I respect your time—would you prefer context first?' 2) Your teammates mistake directness for hostility (their anxious attachment interpreting through criticism lens, not yours to fix entirely) 3) Add ONE buffer sentence: 'This might be uncomfortable' before critical feedback. That's it. Don't overcompensate into fake niceness—you'll resent it and they'll sense inauthenticity. You need teammates who value direct feedback (most do, despite claims). Your communication style is an asset in the right culture. The real question: is this the right team for you?